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July 23, 2010
SIBLINGS SUFFER CONSEQUENCES OF MOM'S DISREGARD FOR TRUTH
DEAR ABBY: My mother has a long history of lying in what
appears to be her attempt to manipulate others. She is now
75, and my siblings and I know not to accept anything she
says as the truth, and to always check with each other in
order to find out the whole story.
The other day she lied to me about a doctor's appointment.
Shortly after I talked to her, my sister called me, furious
about what Mom had really done. I called Mom back that
evening to give her a chance to tell the truth. Instead,
she made up another lie to cover up what she had done. That's
when I told her I had already spoken to my sister.
The whole situation makes me very sad, which I told her. I
let her know I am "on to her" and have decided to give both
of us some time to think about the situation. I know you
can't teach an old dog new tricks, and I have given up trying.
I love Mom, but her continued manipulation of others has
driven me away from her. Is there any way for her to see
how much her inappropriate behavior affects those of us who
care about her?
-- SAD SON IN AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR SAD SON: No. And by cross-checking whatever your mother
tells you with your siblings, you are handling a difficult
situation as well as you can.
DEAR ABBY: Our 19-year-old son is home from college for the
summer and he "knows everything." His father and I have told
him to wash all fruits and vegetables we buy fresh from the
market before eating them. He feels this is not important
and continues to eat apples, strawberries and lettuce
directly from the container or plastic bag without rinsing
them.
Please let me know if our fears are real. I have always
been told washing is necessary. I would love to show him
something on this subject because he thinks I'm silly and
overprotective.
-- MOTHER KNOWS BEST IN TEXAS
DEAR M.K.B.: If seeing it in print will get your son's
attention, I'm happy to oblige. Have him try this experiment:
The next time he decides to eat a nice, shiny apple, have him
soak it for 5 to 10 minutes in water to which several table-
spoons of vinegar have been added. This will remove the waxy
coating that is usually sprayed on them, and with it any dirt
or "little critters" that may have become attached.
Also, periodically on the nightly news we hear announcements
of FDA recalls because of salmonella or E. coli that has
been discovered on various vegetables. Although some are
packaged as ready-to-eat, they, too, should be rinsed before
using. Consider it "health insurance."
DEAR ABBY: I am the parent of a child with special needs.
To an outsider he looks different; adults and children stare
at him when we're out.
My son is not aware of their impolite behavior, but I am --
and it really irks me. What should I say to these insensitive
people?
-- BOILING MAD IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR BOILING MAD: I don't think you should say anything. It
is not unusual for individuals of every age to do a double
take when they see someone -- or something -- that is
"different." Of course staring is impolite, but unless some-
one makes a remark or asks a question about your son, you
should ignore the person.
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