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April 19, 2010
SEXUALLY ACTIVE SENIORS RISK SPREADING DISEASE
DEAR ABBY: April is Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection
(STD/STI) Month. The good news is that many younger people
pay attention to the education they have received and are
more likely to use protection when having sex.
The troubling news is, one of the fastest-growing groups of
people contracting and spreading STDs/STIs is senior citi-
zens. Some blame medications for erectile dysfunction;
others blame midlife divorces and online dating sites. The
biggest factor is lack of education. When seniors were
growing up, they had to think about only two STDs. Today
there are many more.
Back then, the "worst" thing that could happen if you had
unprotected sex was that you could get pregnant. Now, because
many are past menopause, that risk factor is gone, so they
don't use condoms. And the STDs and STIs rage on.
Many seniors won't talk to their doctors about their sexual
activity, and -- worse -- many doctors don't bring up the
subject because they feel uncomfortable or mistakenly assume
older people don't engage in sexual activity. Please, Abby,
urge your older readers to get tested for STDs/STIs.
-- EDWARD SALKO, D.O., FORT MYERS, FLA.
DEAR DR. SALKO: I long for the days when the only things
people associated April with were paying taxes and the rain
that would bring May flowers. But enough about ancient
history.
Readers, if you are sexually active -- and this applies to
those of you from your teens to your 90s -- for your own
sake as well as that of your partner, use a condom every
time unless you and your partner have been tested for STDs
and know with certainty that neither of you has one. Not
everyone who has an STD is aware of it -- and you can't tell
by looking at someone whether that person is infected.
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DEAR ABBY: I work with a woman who talks to dragonflies and
believes she was abducted by aliens. She's one of those
people who come across as sweet and caring, but complain and
gossip behind your back. I work in close proximity to her
and must interact with her daily. I can't stand her, yet she
relentlessly tries to "befriend" me regardless of how hard I
try to make it clear I'm not interested.
Recently there was a fire in my home and our family was left
with nothing. Miss "X" offered me her deceased mother's
dinner set. I felt awkward accepting it, but because she
told me it made her feel good to spread parts of her mother
around, I accepted. Now I regret accepting it because she
thinks I'm indebted to her, and she makes my life miserable
trying to engage me in mindless conversations during work.
Abby, I thanked her for the dinner set at the time she gave
it to me. How long do I have to pretend to like her?
-- NOT INTERESTED
DEAR NOT INTERESTED: You always have to be polite and
considerate, because that's common courtesy. A way to handle
this would be for you to return the dinner set to Miss "X,"
thanking her warmly for "lending" it to you in your time of
need. (I assume you have the means to buy one now.) And when
she tries to engage you in personal conversations, tell her
kindly but firmly that you have a lot of work to do and no
time to talk.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a
business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or
money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.