Classic Laff-a-Day - March 5, 2010
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
I called my wife this afternoon and immediately after she
said 'hello' I launched into my Texan accent.
"Hi ya' doin' there, little lady?" I drawled. "After what I
did to ya last night, I'm curious if'n yur havin' a tough
time a-walkin'?"
"What?!" came the shriek over the phone line.
"I said, are yur loins sore from wrastlin' with this here
longhorn last night?" I continued as hickly as I could.
"I think you want to talk to my daughter, your wife." As the
phone was changing hands I heard my mother-in-law say, "It's
for you."
Unexpectedly,
TZ
mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Today marks 100 days for Barack Obama. President Obama has
accomplished a lot. If you compare the last two presidents,
President Bush spent his first 100 days in the Oval Office
looking for the corner." -David Letterman
[Call me lame...but I love this joke.]
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant and is told by the
maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait,
would he like to wait in the bar. So he goes and has a seat
at the bar.
The bartender walks up and says with a heavy accent, "What
you rike dlink?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles
and says, "Once upon time were FOUR rittle pigs..."
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"Remember the good ol' days when we thought the only bad
pork was in the federal budget?" -Jay Leno
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An old man turned 105 and was being interviewed by a reporter
for the local paper. During the interview the reporter
noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages
playing together. A very pretty young woman of about 20 served
the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and
running errands for them.
"Are these your grandkids?" the reporter asked.
"Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied
with a sly grin.
"Your kids?" said the reporter. "What about this beautiful
young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your
children too?"
"Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife."
"Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't be
more than 20 or 21 years old!"
"Thass right," said the old man with pride.
"Well, surely you can't have a sex life with you being 105
and she being only 20," the reporter remarked.
"Naw, sir, " said the old man. "We have sex every night.
Every night two of my boys helps me on it, and every morning
six of my boys helps me off."
"Wait just one minute," said the newspaperman. "Why does it
only take two of your boys to put you on, but it takes six
of them to take you off?"
"Cause," the spry old man said with a balled fist, "I fights
'em!"
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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