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Feb. 4, 2009
MOVING TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL MAY NOT CURE WHAT AILS CHILD
DEAR ABBY: You missed an important clue in the letter from
"Must Choose in Maryland" (Nov. 30), who is considering
moving to improve her daughter's school life. Abby, the child
is only 7. She has been in public school for three years, so
the private school where she "flourished" was PRESCHOOL.
Many children encounter problems when school becomes more
difficult and grading is involved. Before moving and losing
her "great job, wonderful friends and comfortable lifestyle,"
that mother should try more options.
"Must Choose" should consider having her daughter tested for
learning disabilities or physical problems. She needs to
work with her daughter's school and teachers, and maybe em-
ploy private tutoring or counseling to find methods that
improve the way her daughter learns. It's possible that if
they move, they will only take their problems with them.
-- FORMER PRESCHOOL AND
PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER
DEAR TEACHER: I appreciate your offering your insight. Many
readers pointed out how important it is for this mother to
be proactive during any transition in her child's life.
Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Most children are successful in school at age 4.
Before uprooting her family, "Must Choose" should meet with
the school's principal and teachers to determine exactly why
her daughter "hates" school.
What criteria, other than her daughter's feelings, is she
using as an indicator that the schools are awful? Test data,
facilities, community support, teacher qualifications, etc.
should be reviewed. Moving won't ensure a successful edu-
cational experience for her daughter. Understanding and
dealing with what's at the root of the child's failure will.
-- CAROL IN TEXAS
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DEAR ABBY: "Must Choose" needs to examine her daughter's
situation more carefully. In preschool, children generally
learn social skills, with some introduction to letters and
numbers. From kindergarten to second grade, classroom in-
struction in mathematical and reading skills carry expec-
tations of mastery.
Comparing the enthusiasm and success of preschool to grade
school achievements is like comparing apples to oranges.
Her daughter may be exhibiting signs of learning disabilities
much before second grade because children develop at diff-
erent rates. It is when they begin to learn to read and do
mathematical computations that these difficulties are recog-
nized.
I encourage this mother to talk with her daughter's teacher.
She may find an ally there who is as invested in her
daughter's social and academic success as she is -- and not
an enemy.
-- JENNI IN WARRENTON, MO.
DEAR ABBY: If "Must Choose" keeps moving, a new group of
educators will have to start from scratch to evaluate the
issues. As a public school teacher in a diverse district,
I often see parents run from the school rather than work
to help their children succeed. That mother needs to work
with the professional educators in her district to get to
the bottom of her child's problems.
-- OHIO TEACHER
DEAR ABBY: "Public" education should not automatically
translate to "substandard." Good teachers in public or
private schools encourage and support students at multiple
stages of development.
"Must Choose" should spend time in her daughter's classroom
to observe, volunteer and ask questions. If there's a prob-
lem, intervention needs to happen sooner rather than later.
Open, honest and constructive feedback directed toward a
solution is in order.
-- EDUCATIONAL SOAPBOX, U.S.A.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two
booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite
Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed
envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris,
IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.