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MOUTHPIECE - April 19, 2016

Good Afternoon,

I'm not feeling so good today. Yesterday, I got hit in the head with a soup can. On purpose or accidentally, I'm not sure. I kind of space out every now and toast, gravy, feet, chicken nuggets, Frank, The Jeffersons, denim, bark, bark, bark, bark...

My head really dented the hell out of that can. Forty-Six!

Good issue today.

Mouthing Off,

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in."
--Napoleon Bonaparte

"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
--Thomas Jefferson

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
--Dean Martin

[m] What's On the Web?

Every Dazed and Confused Character, Ranked by Coolness

From Dazed and Confused is a movie filled with characters. Some of them are cool. Some are not so cool. But who is the coolest? Is it Wooderson, Randall "Pink" Floyd, Cynthia, Slater, Simone? This article shows you just who is too cool for school. Alright, alright, alright. (Warning: Some Strong Language)

Visit: Every Dazed and Confused Character, Ranked by Coolness

Visual Workouts

Trying to get in superhero shape or jedi shape or British super spy shape? Check out these free no-equipment visual workouts for all fitness levels. These workouts have to be seen to be believed.

Visit: Visual Workouts

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Complaints of a Modern Day Vampire --*

Three Words: Daylight Savings Time

Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"

After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.

No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.

No warm blood for miles around DC.

Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.

Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.


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