Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Good Afternoon,

I haven't had too much experience with cops. I mean I've watched Cops on TV, I've seen them drive around and I've heard sirens, but I've never had any real personal experience with the boys-in-blue.

And just because I've never had any personal experience with the fuzz doesn't mean that I don't know what the dos and don'ts of dealing with the coppers. Did I lose you there?

What I'm getting at is if you don't have a clue of how to verbally behave in from of the members of your law enforcement community I have a few excellent examples of what not to say to a cop. Look below and hopefully it will help to save you from spending a night or two in the pokey.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

Questions? Comments? Email Mouthpiece

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
- Edmund Burke

"Truth has beauty, power and necessity."
- Sylvia Ashton-Warner

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."
- Eddie Rickenbacker

[m] What's On the Web?
SQUEEZE A PIMPLE
Don't have enough pimples to squeeze on your own face? Check out this website and have a blast pushing pus between your digitally-imaged fingers.

Play: SQUEEZE A PIMPLE

----------------
MINI PUTT 3
The mouse is your club on this digital green. Choose your ball color; pick between two courses (Mini Putt Classic and Jurassic Putt); then swing away, right? Oh, wait, it's mini putt. Just give it a little tappy.

Play: MINI PUTT 3

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- What Not To Say To A Cop --*
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't on.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.

9. I pay your salary.

10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist?

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.

15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

16. Is it true people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around--That's how far they are ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives