MOUTHPIECE - March 11, 2014

Good Afternoon,

If you watched the Oscars a few weeks ago and saw John Travolta completely Britta the name of the wicked talent Idina Menzel, now you can see what your name is according to Mr. Tony Manero thanks to some talented folks over at Slate.com.

Don't wait to Travoltify Your Name!

From now on I shall be know to all as "Coll Burneez". I guess Carl was a bit stale or hard to read or remember.
Coll Burneez it is!

Mouthing Off,
Coll

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her
way back."
--Henny Youngman

"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from."
--Eddie Izzard

"I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant."
--Ring Lardner

[m] What's On the Web?
Travoltify Your Name!
From Slate.com: When John Travolta called Idina Menzel "Adele Dazeem" at the Oscars, he created a new standard for superstardom: You're no one until you've had your name mangled by a confused, squinting John Travolta. What's your Travoltified name? Find out with our handy widget!

Visit: Travoltify Your Name!


Kids React To Rotary Phones
Kids React breaks out a new format, with kids reacting to technology of the past, this time around, it's rotary phones. Amazing how technology changes so quickly.

Visit: Kids React To Rotary Phones


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark --*
1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."

2. "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"

3. "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."

4. "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."

5. "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."

6. "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

7. "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

8. "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"

9. "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday ---so we're having you put to sleep."

10. "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas)

(From Aha! Jokes)

***
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