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MOUTHPIECE - May 26, 2015

Good Afternoon,


I've never had the misfortune of having to deal with a lawyer, but I hope that when the times comes that I do get the full lawyer experience I don't have one that shows any of the following 'Signs That You Might Need A New Lawyer' which you can check out below in the 'Bits N Bobs' section of this brand-new edition of Mouthpiece that I typed out with my own two fingers. (I have ten fingers, but I only type with two of them. Guess which two!)

Mouthing Off,
Carl


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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
--Dick Cavett

"Joy is not in things; it is in us."
--Richard Wagner


[m] What's On the Web?

Aqualux Game

"Making good connections - with pipes! Rearrange pipes to deliver goat milk to elf babies or something. The important thing is, there are TONS of pipish levels waiting for you to fix!" It's addictive!

Visit: Aqualux Game


21 Iconic Pieces Of Pop Culture (That Were Hated At First)

From Cracked.com: A lot of us crazy kids like to look at what we consider pop culture staples through rose-tinted glasses. But it turns out we have a short memory for the things we love -- if we recalled back to when they debuted, we might see them a bit differently. Because, surprisingly, a lot of things we think of as well received today, were pretty hated in their time.

Visit: 21 Iconic Pieces Of Pop Culture (That Were Hated At First)


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Signs That You Might Need A New Lawyer --*

* During the trial, you catch him playing Angry Birds.

* Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniel's to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

* He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

* Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

* Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

* The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

* Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

* He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

* Giggles hysterically at the mere mention of the Penal Code.

* Constantly raising objections to the "vibes" he's getting from the jury.

* Every time the judge sustains one of his objections, he screams, "Yahtzee!"

* Offers to waive his usual fees in exchange for your panties.

* You met him in prison.

* He tells you that his last good case was Scotch.

* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

* He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

* He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

***

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