Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Good Afternoon,

With Valentine's Day being today I'm sure everyone that knows me will be asking if my girlfriend and I got engaged and when I tell them "no" I will be constantly asked "Why aren't you married yet?"

I've never been very good with witty comebacks for why I'm not married, but thanks to the list I have featured in today's 'Bits N Bobs' section I've got a few to work with.

I used to just say things like, "Mind your own business," but now I say things like, "My fiance is awaiting parole."

I can't wait for the next family party. I'm really gonna get 'em.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just Click Here and hit the like button...

Questions? Comments? Email Mouthpiece


[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
- Robert Frost

"Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear; where little fear grows great, great love grows there."
- William Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act III, sc. 2)


[m] What's On the Web?
Infinite Drunk Ron Swanson
If you want to watch drunk Ron Swanson dance around for infinity just click the link and enjoy. And even if you
don't just click it anyway.

Visit: Infinite Drunk Ron Swanson


Cupid - Cartoon Collection
Colonel Dan Cupid and his matchmaking babies bring together two very difficult people. When Cupid's young charge can't get the job of hitching the two done, the boss himself joins the battle.

Watch: Cupid - Cartoon Collection


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
"Why aren't you married yet?" Comebacks
You haven't asked yet.

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

What? And spoil my great life?

Because I just love hearing this question.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fiance is awaiting parole.

I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss America.

I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

Why aren't you thin?

I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.


Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives