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MOUTHPIECE - November 24, 2015

Good Afternoon,

Well, Thanksgiving is only a few days away. Since that statement is actually accurate I thought it would be in my best interest to make this issue of Mouthpiece 'The 2015 Turkey Day Edition - The Yamburger Helper' issue.

I've packed this edition with great quotes, a turkey of a game, how many classic '70s album covers do you know? quiz, and a few things proven to change the course of your Thanksgiving.

So have a Happy Thanksgiving and save me some stuffing...and turkey, gravy, biscuits...why don't you just tell me what time you're eating and I'll see you then.

Mouthing Off,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."
--George Burns

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
--David Letterman

"Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery."
--Dr. Joyce Brothers

[m] What's On the Web?

How many classic '70s album covers do you know?

Are you a Rock 'n Roller? Test your knowledge of some of the most iconic rock album covers of all-time!

Visit: How many classic '70s album covers do you know?

Turkey to Go Game

From Addicting Games: Watch that fork! You know, the three-pronged pokey-dealy. See if you can keep from being eaten and chase down all your feathers.

Visit: Turkey to Go Game

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving --*

1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake

4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one leave or eat until you have finished the speech.

5. Bring along old recorded football games and play them when dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room, turn off the old game, and then turn on the regular TV.

6. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.

(From Aha! Jokes)


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