Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Good Afternoon,

Well, Thanksgiving is just a few days away. Since that statement is actually accurate I thought it would be in my best interest to make this issue of Mouthpiece 'The 2012 Turkey Day Edition: Turk-ey 182!' issue.

I've packed this edition with great quotes, a turkey of a game, actually two games and a few things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving. All good stuff!

So have a Happy Thanksgiving and save me some stuffing.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence."
- Robert Fripp

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
- Carrie Fisher


[m] What's On the Web?
Turkey Liberation Front Escape
"The tables are turned, Mr. Thanksgiving! Maybe just once, our noble friend the Turkey can spend the holiday with his own family. Gobble gobble gobble!"

Visit: Turkey Liberation Front Escape


Turkey Fling
Ever wonder how far you could stretch a rubber turkey? Now you can find out! Eat as much corn as possible to keep flying.

Visit: Turkey Fling


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving

1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one leave or eat until you have finished the speech.

5. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.

[From ahajokes.com]

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