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Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Good Afternoon,
Well, Thanksgiving is a few days away. Since that statement
is true I thought it would be in my best interest to make
this issue of Mouthpiece 'The 2010 Thanksgiving Turkey and
Yam Extravaganza' issue.
I've packed this edition with great quotes, a rather puzzl-
ing Thanksgiving game, a list of things proven to change
the course of Thanksgiving and 11 important tips that will
come in handy if you find yourself trapped inside of a
horror movie.
That last one isn't Thanksgiving related, but you never
know when you might need that information. Hey, I'm just
here to help.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and save me some stuffing.
Mouthing Off,
Carl
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Lindsay Lohan was spotted leaving rehab to go out to
dinner. You could tell Lindsay's been in rehab for a
while because as soon as she sat down, she asked to hug
the wine list."
- Jimmy Fallon
"What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance
for another nuisance."
- Havelock Ellis
"Better by far you should forget and smile than you should
remember and be sad."
- Christina Rossetti
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What's On the Web?
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11 Things To Do When You're Trapped in a Horror Movie
I know this has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but you
never can tell when things may turn into a horror movie
situation. I want my readers to be prepared to survive
anything... Thanksgiving or otherwise.
Visit: http://bit.ly/geHVAQ
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Turkey Liberation Front Escape
"The tables are turned, Mr. Thanksgiving! Maybe just once,
our noble friend the Turkey can spend the holiday with his
own family. Gobble gobble gobble!"
Visit: http://bit.ly/if02gz
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving
1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say,
"See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey
was four months past its expiration date. You were worried
for nothing."
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful
for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to
say anything more.
3. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen,
toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to
the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight
Loss Shake.
4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked
about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one
leave or eat until you have finished the speech.
5. Bring along old recorded football games and pop them in
the VCR when dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the
last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room,
turn off the VCR, and then turn on the regular TV.
6. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and
abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
Request that she bring photos.
[From ahajokes.com]
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