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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Good Afternoon,
I forgot to bring my lunch today. I guess I could check
the drawers of my desk for a nourishing item or two.
Let's see here. I have a stick of gum, a box of Christmas
cookies that I never finished, a jar of peanut butter, a
bottle of antacids and a package of citrus flavored cough
drops.
Well, that actually sounds much better meal than what I
was going to bring in today.
Bring on the eating!
Mouthing Off,
Carl
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Doctor's Reports
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it
disappeared completely.
3. The patient has been depressed ever since she began see-
ing me in 1993.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
6. Healthy appearing decrepit 99 year-old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
7. The patient refused an autopsy.
8. The patient has no past history of suicides.
9. Patient has left his white blood cells at another
hospital.
10. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent
home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of
her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car
for physical therapy.
20. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he
took a job as a stockbroker instead.
21. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
22. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt
we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnorm-
alities.
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