MOUTHPIECE - July 1, 2014

Good Afternoon,

I really hate going to the doctor, and I know that I'm not alone here. Sometimes doctors can say things that are so mean and rude that you wish you could immediately get a second opinion.

Take a look at the list of 'Stuff My Doc Says' and witness ten of the worst things a doctor has uttered to his patients.

Plus, the quotes, The 10 Worst Movies of 2014 So Far, and the History of Bacon. Come on, there's bacon!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
--Steven Wright

"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development."
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
--Mark Twain

[m] What's On the Web?
Readers' Poll: The 10 Worst Movies of 2014 So Far
From Rolling Stone: We're basically at the halfway point of 2014, and so far Hollywood's record has been rather mixed. We've had many great movies like Blue Ruin, The Grand Budapest Hotel and Coherence, but there's also been a lot of absolute garbage. We asked our readers to select their least favorite movies of the year so far.

Visit: Readers' Poll: The 10 Worst Movies of 2014 So Far


The History of Bacon
Nothing tastes better than bacon. This clip offers a brief history about one of the world's most delicious foods. Feed your mind, then feed your tummy.

Visit: The History of Bacon


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Stuff My Doc Says --*
Do you think you have a horrible doctor? Check out some of the worst advice, opinions, & diagnoses ever uttered by a medical professional.

1. "Hey! I don't go to your house and bleed all over your stuff! Clot, dammit!"

2. "Well, at least you have your health... (looking at the patient's chart) WHOOPS! I spoke too soon."

3. "How are stupid dogs and dumb doctors alike? Neither one can heel! Which reminds me, there's nothing we can do for you."

4. "Miss, you'll need to put this medicated cream on your chest. Here, I'll give you a hand with that."

5. "I could give you something for that, but I'm not supposed to have sex with my patients."

6. "Hey, what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Okay, you can take that out of your mouth now."

7. "I am so tired of having to see that coroner guy."

8. "I know what will make us feel better... a sponge bath."

9. "Oh, that looks like a sprained ankle to me. I won't know for sure until you get totally naked."

10. "Oh, you're a woman!"

***
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