MOUTHPIECE - March 22, 2016

Good Afternoon,

Some say I'm paranoid, but I'm really not. I just don't know why people keep talking about me and my supposed paranoia. It seems to be on everyone's tongue. Everywhere I look people are chatting away, no doubt it's about you-know-who. No matter where I go I just can't seem to escape it. I think I'm being followed. Not right now, I meant earlier.

Hey, wait! Who's reading this? What do you want?!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
--G. K. Chesterton

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy."
--Robert Louis Stevenson

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
--Jerry Seinfeld


[m] What's On the Web?
30 Cult Movies That Absolutely Everybody Must See
From io9, a great cult movie is like a weird underground discovery, that feels so strange and wonderful, you suspect that you're the first person ever to appreciate it properly. But certain cult films have acquired fame and influence to rival any blockbuster, and have become part of our shared vocabulary. Here are 30 essential cult movies that everybody ought to watch, at least once.

Visit: 30 Cult Movies That Absolutely Everybody Must See


16 TV Stars Who Got Replaced
From EW, from the quiet swaps to the drama-filled departures, see celebs who were replaced on their TV shows.

Visit: 16 TV Stars Who Got Replaced


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Top Ten Signs You're Paranoid --*
10. You run away upon seeing a mall directory that says, "You are here."

9. Thirty five locks on your sock drawer just aren't enough.

8. You hire a private eye to keep an eye out on your house, but then fire him because he's part of the conspiracy.

7. Before you take the garbage cans back from the street, you check them for really short Mafia hit men.

6. You are learning six foreign languages because you just know those people you don't understand are talking about YOU.

5. You even wonder if the guard dog you hired is secretly plotting against you.

4. You have a funny feeling the voices in your head are plotting behind your back.

3. It takes you three hours each evening to program the household alarms and video surveillance system before you can go to bed.

2. You're checking off each number on this list as you read.

1. The Witness Relocation Program has told you to stop showing up unless you have an actual reason to.

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives