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MOUTHPIECE - November 17, 2015

Good Afternoon,


Here's a great joke that I was sent the other day. I hope you enjoy.

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 200 bones in the human body?

Patient: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

I hope that made you laugh or giggle or possibly snicker. And now enjoy the rest of today's edition of Mouthpiece.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, I have friends in both places."
--Mark Twain

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it."
--Bernard Bailey


[m] What's On the Web?

"WHAT IF: MOVIES RE-IMAGINED" RE-CASTS MODERN FILMS

From One.Perfect.Shot: "The concept: films of a certain era belonging to another era and everything that would follow: who would be the stars, the filmmakers? How would the film be marketed? A lot of liberty and a lot of fun within the world of "What If."

Visit: "WHAT IF: MOVIES RE-IMAGINED" RE-CASTS MODERN FILMS


15 Double Secret Secrets Of Big Companies & Famous Products

From Cracked.com: "We asked our readers to use their image wizarding skills to show us what's really going on behind closed doors at these companies." It's probably more true than you know.

Visit: 15 Double Secret Secrets Of Big Companies & Famous Products


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Signs You're Going to Have a Bad Day --*

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

* your twin sister forgets your birthday.

* you wake up face down on the pavement.

* you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

* you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

* you see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.

* your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

* you turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.

* you wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.

* your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

* your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..."

* you open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"

***

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