MOUTHPIECE - August 11, 2015

Good Afternoon,

Today is the day that you'll learn if, in fact, you might be a bad customer. This list is hilarious, especially #1, which I've never done three times last week. So, you might think I'm a bad customer or you might not buy it. I don't know.

So discover if you're a bad customer. Hey, I'd want to know. Then check out '7 Famous People Who Secretly Have Shockingly Bad Resumes' and 'Mark Hamill Wins At Giving Amazing 'Star Wars' Autographs'.

I'm not just saying it, but today's issue is super awesome! Trust me.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm."
--Vince Lombardi

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."
--Thomas Jefferson

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
--Pablo Picasso


[m] What's On the Web?
7 Famous People Who Secretly Have Shockingly Bad Resumes
From Cracked.com: No artist comes slip'n sliding out of the womb ready to create masterpieces. Creating anything is hit and miss -- for every amazing work, that same artist likely has ten pieces of crap that they'd happily see blasted into the Sun. For example...

Visit: 7 Famous People Who Secretly Have Shockingly Bad Resumes


Mark Hamill Wins At Giving Amazing 'Star Wars' Autographs
From Uproxx.com: Mark Hamill has been doing science fiction conventions since they became a thing, so you shouldn't be surprised the guy has some Jedi Master level skills when it comes to them. Witty panel banter? Check. Funny fan meet and greet photos? Check. Amazing autographs? It sure seems so based on these recently uploaded photos to Imgur. Some Star Wars fans handed over a bunch of classic Topps trading cards and Hamill went above and beyond just scribbling his signature on them.

Visit: Mark Hamill Wins At Giving Amazing 'Star Wars' Autographs


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- You Might Be A Bad Customer If... --*
1. You escort people out of line for having 11 items in the "10 items or less" lane.

2. You walk into a store at 10 minutes to close not knowing what you want and don't decide for another 30 minutes.

3. You yell out what a GREAT TIPPER you are.

4. You ask for a discount. No reason specified, just that you should get one.

5. You think the Pre-pay sign on the gas pump is for everyone but you.

6. You buy an expensive dress and return it after the party.

7. You can't read the signs or coupons correctly, insisting you're right and all the employees are wrong.

8. While standing in front of the huge line up of TVs, you ask a salesman, "Is this all the TVs you have?"

9. You chew out the manager of the local McDonald's for not cleaning up the place, while meanwhile, your kids proceed to launch ketchup packets at each other.

10. You pay for anything/everything in small change (especially pennies)

(From Aha! Jokes)

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