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Tuesday, May 13, 2010

Good Afternoon,

Sometimes I think about what the title of my tell-all book
would be. I have three to pick from:

"I Got Nothing"

"This Would Be Great for Bathroom Reading"

"I Hope You Like Pictures"

What do ya think?

If you have an interest in tell-all books then check out
'What's On the Web?' for the wonderful segment, "If Pop
Culture's Greatest Characters Wrote Tell-All Books".

Hilarious stuff.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"The June edition of Playboy magazine will be printed in
3-D. Haven't we had that for a while? It's called a strip
club."
- Jimmy Kimmel

"Tyra Banks is writing a new series of kids' books. She is
the first supermodel to write a kids' book since Kate Moss
wrote 'Green Eggs and Crack'."
- Craig Ferguson

"The Department of Agriculture has decided to set new,
stricter salmonella standards for poultry. I'm no expert,
but I'm pretty sure the standard should just be 'no
salmonella allowed'."
- Jimmy Fallon

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What's On the Web?
------------------

The Daily Groaner Twitter

Get a daily dose of comedy guaranteed to make your eyes
roll! Each 'tweet' delivers one PG13 to R Rated joke
that's sad but true.

Follow: http://twitter.com/DailyGroaner

------------------------

If Pop Culture's Greatest Characters Wrote Tell-All Books

Tell-All Books are lame, weak and a desperate attempt
from the author to recapture past fame. (and by "fame" I
mean "attention" that celebrities whore themselves out
for day-in and day-out) But... Tell-All Books, if done
right, can be, well, hilarious. Here's a few examples.

Visit: http://www.cracked.com/photoshop_121_if-pop-cultures-greatest-char=
acters-wrote-tell-all-books/

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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one
likes your wife."

2. "How could two people as beautiful you have such an
ugly baby?"

3. "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone
to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."

4. "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never
believed in Hell til I met you."

5. "Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?"

6. "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that
you're not here to ruin it for me."

7. "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your
sister."

8. "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've
given me. Like the need for therapy..."

9. "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what
evil was before this!"

10. "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go,
would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll
probably need it again."

(www.ahajokes.com/)

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