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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Good Afternoon,

I've been known to eat expired food from time to time, but
it's because I don't notice the signs when good food goes
bad. If you're like me then you may need an important list
to help identify when foods like ice cream, eggs, cereal,
meat, and bread become inedible.

It's important to learn 'How To Tell When Foods Go Bad'.

Bon Appetit, Folks!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

How To Tell When Foods Go Bad

ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your
ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.

FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral
part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment
will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time
you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the
shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look
like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like
cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts
to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing
but spoiled milk anyway - if you can dig down and still
find something non-green, bon appetit!

MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray
animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside
your house, toss the meat.

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when
you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the
food.

CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size
or shape of a softball should be disposed of very care-
fully.

POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches,
or dense, leafy undergrowth.

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially
acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of
any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green
growth areas are good indications that your bread has
turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You
may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your
interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal
should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond
the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out
of the box by itself.

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly
out when you open it.

PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if
they can no longer be picked up without falling apart.
Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a
pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your
teeth.

SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off
reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is
in order, as fresh salt usually pours.

SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They
will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your
will.

VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still
good.

THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled
(except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself
last night).

EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to
encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that
you'll spend more on groceries. Even dry foods older than
you are may be ready to replace. Perhaps you'd benefit by
having a calendar in your kitchen.

[From AndyChaps]

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