Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Good Afternoon,

I may not be much of a conversationalist, but I do know how to tell a joke or two. So, here's a joke... or two... nah, just one joke today.

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Well, that's true," said the lifeguard, "but from the diving board!?!?"

Good joke, eh? Now, enjoy Mouthpiece and all of its enjoyableness and stuff. You see, I stink at conversing.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
- Mark Twain

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."
- Albert Einstein

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
- Rodney Dangerfield


[m] What's On the Web?
15 Gifs That You Can Stare At Forever
Clear your schedule and prepare to stare. These 15 Gifs may calm you, hypnotize you, and/or possibly freak... you... out!

Visit: 15 Gifs That You Can Stare At Forever


24 Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood
Someone had to ruin your childhood, but don't worry it's not me, it's the hilarious Cracked.com. I'm just the messenger. You knew it was going to happen sooner than later.

Visit: 24 Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- I'm So Emotional --*
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

***
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