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Click here to read the most OUTRAGEOUS, most BIZARRE, and
most SCANDALOUS stories on the internet!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1109/c/186/a/586
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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Good Afternoon,

I may not be much of a conversationalist, but I do know
how to tell a joke or two. So, here's a joke... or two...
nah, just one joke today.

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop
urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from
time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Well, that's true," said the lifeguard, "but from the
diving board!?!?"

Good joke, eh? Now enjoy Mouthpiece and all of its enjoy-
ableness and stuff. You see, I stink at conversing.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...

1. Hunting, fishing & more of the great outdoors
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4. The Great John Wayne
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5. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
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6. Who Knew? Amazing Elephants
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to
a better understanding of ourselves."
- Carl Jung

"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too
good, and not quite all the time."
- George Orwell

"Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes."
- Henry J. Kaiser

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[m] What's On the Web?
-------------------

VIRTUAL DOG

This is the place to walk, feed, train, and otherwise enjoy
the company of a virtual pup!

Visit: http://bit.ly/iqe80N

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Special '80s Video Clip - The Goonies: Booby Traps

Remember The Goonies? The 1985 kid adventure of a group
of teenagers who set off to find One-Eyed Willie's hidden
treasure in hopes of saving their families homes from
going into foreclosure. Classic!

Watch It Now: http://bit.ly/jk4R0d

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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

------------------ Bizarre May Holidays ------------------

May 1 is Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day

May 2 is Fire Day

May 3 is Lumpy Rug Day

May 4 is National Candied Orange Peel Day

May 5 is National Hoagie Day

May 6 is Beverage Day

May 7 is International Tuba Day, Paste Up Day, & National
Roast Leg of Lamb Day

May 8 is No Socks Day and Have A Coke Day

May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day

May 10 is Clean Up Your Room Day

May 11 is Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day

May 12 is Limerick Day

May 13 is Leprechaun Day

May 14 is National Dance Like A Chicken Day

May 15 is National Chocolate Chip Day

May 16 is Wear Purple For Peace Day

May 17 is Pack Rat Day

May 18 is International Museum Day & Visit Your Relatives
Day

May 19 is Frog Jumping Jubilee Day

May 20 is Eliza Doolittle Day

May 21 is National Memo Day & National Waitresses/Waiters
Day

May 22 is Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day

May 23 is Penny Day

May 24 is National Escargot Day

May 25 is National Tap Dance Day

May 26 is Grey Day

May 27 is Body Painting Arts Festival

May 28 is National Hamburger Day

May 29 is End Of The Middle Ages Day

May 30 is My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day

May 31 is National Macaroon Day

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