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Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Good Afternoon,
As I write this I find myself suffering from a bit of
sneezing fit. I wish I knew what was causing me to sdfjaio
sneeze this severely, but I sudfh really don't have a clue.
Maybe somebody in the office has a oegiarh cat? Maybe I
just have a bit of a asfhasjigh head cold? Maybe I'm
allergic to TZ's awful musky cologne? asfhjdkgh
At any rate, I'm going to continue to sneeze and mash my
keyboard. I asfbhgfag hope you enjoy today's Mouthpiece
while I go and get myself asdfgwerg some tissues.
Mouthing Off,
Carl
email Mouthpiece at: mailto:themouth@gophercentral.com
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"'Secretariat' actually got his own postage stamp in 1999.
And coincidentally, he was also the glue on the back of
it."
- Craig Ferguson
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever."
- Anonymous
"Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract
instead of under observation."
- Walter Winchell
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What's On the Web?
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Toss the Turtle
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[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
----------------- HOW TO WRITE GOOD -----------------
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary;
it's highly superfluous.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
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