Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Good Afternoon,

Here's a great joke that I was sent the other day. I hope you enjoy.

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 200 bones in the human body?

Patient: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

I hope that made you laugh or giggle or possibly snicker. And now enjoy the rest of today's edition of Mouthpiece.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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Mouthing Off,
Carl

Comments? Questions? Email Mouthpiece

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
- Steven Wright

"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."
- Milton Friedman

"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."
- Mickey Rooney

[m] What's On the Web?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Boat-o-Cross 2
Are you ready for Boat-o-Cross? Get your balancing skills ready because this is going to be one difficult ride, especially when SpongeBob is behind the wheel!

Play: SpongeBob SquarePants: Boat-o-Cross 2

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Groucho Marx sings Lydia The Tattooed Lady
The first filmed performance of the signature song for Groucho from At The Circus. The quality of the video is unmatched. From vaudeville to the screen and then television, Groucho was one of a kind.

Watch: Groucho Marx sings Lydia The Tattooed Lady


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Bizarre September Holidays --*
September 1 is Emma M. Nutt Day

September 2 is National Beheading Day

September 3 is Skyscraper Day

September 4 is Newspaper Carrier Day

September 5 is Be Late For Something Day

September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day

September 7 is Neither Rain Nor Snow Day

September 8 is National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day

September 9 is Teddy Bear Day

September 10 is Swap Ideas Day

September 11 is No News Is Good News Day

September 12 is National Pet Memorial Day and National Chocolate Milkshake Day

September 13 is Defy Superstition Day

September 14 is National Cream-filled Donut Day

September 15 is Felt Hat Day

September 16 is Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day

September 17 is National Apple Dumpling Day

September 18 is National Play-doh Day

September 19 is National Butterscotch Pudding Day

September 20 is National Punch Day

September 21 is World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival

September 22 is Hobbit Day and Dear Diary Day

September 23 is Checkers Day and Dogs In Politics Day

September 24 is Festival Of Latest Novelties

September 25 is National Comic Book Day

September 26 is National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day

September 27 is Crush A Can Day

September 28 is Ask A Stupid Question Day

September 29 is Poisoned Blackberries Day

September 30 is National Mud Pack Day

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