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MOUTHPIECE - March 15, 2016

Good Afternoon,

I know it's a bit early, but today's Mouthpiece is all about St. Patrick's Day. Hooray! Well, part of it.

I figured that I'd better get this one out because I'm gonna be enjoying St. Patrick's Day like I'm sure you and many of your fellow readers will be, I'll drink to that!

Good times, folks! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mouthing Off,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one."
--Mark Twain

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
--Lynda Barry

"To the soul, there is hardly anything more healing than friendship."
--Thomas Moore

[m] What's On the Web?

10 Movies That Will Never Get A Special Criterion Edition

For the most part there is a reason that a film becomes part of the Criterion Collection. Then there are some reasons that they don't...Van Damme, Shaq and Mr. T, just to name a few.

Visit: 10 Movies That Will Never Get A Special Criterion Edition

Random Irish Name Generator

From Ever need an Irish name for a character in a novel? Or just because you're a nerd and have nothing better to do? Click the button to get an Irish name! Note: not all of the anglicized names are Irish in origin. Many of them are just names that you would find in Ireland.

Visit: Random Irish Name Generator

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

** What The New Job-Lingo Really Means **

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


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