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MOUTHPIECE - February 16, 2016

Good Afternoon,

Looking over today's edition I noticed that the topics I've got for you range from aliens to bar jokes and then some solid quotes.

So... business as usual! It's good quality stuff here. Enjoy!

Mouthing Off,

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
--Redd Foxx

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your ources."
--Albert Einstein

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
--Oscar Wilde

[m] What's On the Web?

Aliens in a Box

From Addicting Aliens like to travel, but some are cheap. So they ship themselves by Galactic Parcel Service! Use your mighty powers of gravity to drop the little green dudes into the box. Speed counts, because these aliens absolutely, positively need to be there overnight. Serious.

Visit: Aliens in a Box

12 Aliens That Were Supposed to Be Cute But Are Actually Terrifying

Thanks E.T. for trying to make aliens cute. That's sarcasm! E.T. and every alien in family friendly films that I've seen has given me nightmares like never before. Look at this list of horrifying space critters.

Visit: 12 Aliens That Were Supposed to Be Cute But Are Actually Terrifying

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Drinks Are On Me --*

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."


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