MOUTHPIECE - June 3, 2014

Good Afternoon,

Today is all about the relief of stress. Yes, you heard right. I'm here to bring you a game, a video, and a list about chocolate that will aid in the relief of whatever stress is stressing you out.

Hey, you don't have to thank me, but I am fond of cash gifts. Hey, I'm just kidding with you soon to be stress-free readers.

Have fun and relax.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
--Sir Winston Churchill

"The future will be better tomorrow."
--Dan Quayle

"A desk is a dangerous place from which to watch the world."
--John le Carre


[m] What's On the Web?
Ultimate Workers Fail Compilation
These are the guys you never want working on your project. They may be dangerous and destructive, but they sure are hilarious.

Visit: Ultimate Workers Fail Compilation


Cubicle Freakout!
Are you having a bad day at the office? Well, let out your office anger and smash up your computer! Wait... not your actual stuff, the ones in the game. Whew, that was a close one.

Visit: Cubicle Freakout!


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- The Rules of Eating Chocolate --*
1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

9. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A: Because no one wants to quit.

10. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

12. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

***
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