MOUTHPIECE - March 20, 2018

Good Afternoon,

Spring has sprung and love is in the air. Can you feel the love?

Well when it comes to love there are things you say and things you don't say. If you utter any of the ten things listed below that fall under the category of "Top Ten Things Not to Say on Your Anniversary" you better believe that storybook romance is six feet under and there to stay.

Or maybe it's the perfect list to help get someone out of a bad relationship. What would work better than saying, "Today is our what?" or "I thought we only celebrated important events?" to that special someone that has caused you more pain, trouble and heartache than being a New York Mets fan. I guess it's all in how you look at it.

Oh, and as today is the first day of spring, make sure you check out the People Having A Worse Spring Break Than You. Epic Fails all around!

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
--David Letterman

"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."
--Henry David Thoreau

"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!"
--Tommy Smothers



[m] What's On the Web?
Things Movie And TV Characters Do That No Real Person Does
From Cracked.com: For the most part, movies and TV shows are supposed to be about us, right? They're either directly or indirectly about the human condition, and are packed with human behavior. Except that a lot of the time, they really aren't. They play more like an alien's vague idea of what our species does.

Visit: Things Movie And TV Characters Do That No Real Person Does


28 People Having A Worse Spring Break Than You
From Buzzfeed.com: Save yourself from a horrible Spring Break experience. After seeing these images your parents' couch isn't looking so bad after all.

Visit: 28 People Having A Worse Spring Break Than You



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Top Ten Things Not to Say on Your Anniversary --*
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.

9. Today is our what?

8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?

7. I thought we only celebrated important events?

6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.

5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.

4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.

3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.

2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.

1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.

***
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