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MOUTHPIECE - September 8, 2015
Good Afternoon,
I'm think about going on a road trip really soon. I love hitting the road, seeing new sights and eating some of the best food at local joints just off of the highway. They really do have the best stuff to eat.
Be sure to check out the Road Food website, located in the 'What's On The Web?' section, before your next road trip. Your stomach will thank you for it.
Mouthing Off,
Carl
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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
--Phyllis Diller
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
--Marilyn Monroe
"Good taste is the worst vice ever invented."
--Edith Sitwell
[m] What's On the Web?
ROAD FOOD
Taking a road trip? Wouldn't you like to know the unique kinds of foods that line the highway? Well, Roadfood.com is the only cool web site devoted exclusively to finding the most memorable local eateries along the highways and back roads of America.
Visit: ROAD FOOD
If Major Movies Told You What They Were Really About
From Cracked.com: No one is going to stand in line for A New Hope During A Star War, right? That's why subtitles exist. They're like a little cheat for filmmakers: When you can't fit it all into one title, just slap a mini-title on your flick and you're golden. Of course, that also means one extra line for Hollywood to trick you into handing them your wallet. Which is why, as a sort of PSA, we tasked our readers with taking some subtitles and revising them for honesty.
Visit: If Major Movies Told You What They Were Really About
[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
*-- Vocabulary Lesson for New Parents --*
BOTTLE FEEDING An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too.
DEFENSE What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
DROOLING How teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
LOOK OUT! What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
OW The first word spoken by children with older siblings
PUDDLE A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
STOREROOM The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
THUNDERSTORM A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
TOP BUNK Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
WHODUNIT None of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
***
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