Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Good Afternoon,

Here's a funny joke my doctor told me the other day.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a tee-pee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a tee-pee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

He's got to keep you laughing when he jabs you with stuff. It's a good way to work.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

Questions? Comments? Email Mouthpiece

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations."
- Orson Welles

"Follow the grain in your own wood."
- Howard Thurman

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
- George Burns

[m] What's On the Web?
Switcheroo Zoo
Create your own new animals at this surrealistic virtual zoo. Switch the animals' heads, legs and tails to make one-of-a-kind creatures. Play online for free with Switch Zoo Online.

Visit: SWITCH ZOO

The Three Stooges - Curly's Sweater
Curly finds himself stuck in a sweater that's too tight for him in 'How High Is Up?' from 1940. How he got into the thing is a mystery, but Moe and Larry help him out of it with a couple tire irons and a mallet.

Watch It Now: The Three Stooges - Curly's Sweater


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark
1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."

2. "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"

3. "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."

4. "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."

5. "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?"

6. "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."

7. "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."

8. "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."

9. "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this!"

10. "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

(from ahajokes)