Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Good Afternoon,

I'm in a goofy mood today. I guess that a lack of sleep will do that to you. I got to go outside every once in a while a get some fresh air. I think that that would help. Well, it will only happen if I finally pony up the dough and get a laptop or maybe one of them sparkly iPads.

Holy Moley! I really need to get a life. Listen to me going on and on. I sound like a lunatic.

I'm going to get some sleep now. Please enjoy whatever I chose to put into today's issue. I really have no idea at this point.

Nitey night.

Mouthing Off,
Carl

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill

"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
- Robert Benchley

[m] What's On the Web?
CRAZY FADS
Why in the world would anyone want to sit on a flagpole, swallow a live goldfish, or imitate a sardine by cramming themselves into phone booths with as many other people as could uncomfortably fit in there? Beats me. Take a look at the fads from the 1920s through the 1990s and see if we've gotten more sophisticated over the years.

Visit: CRAZY FADS

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
'Futurama' fans and exotic animal lovers will appreciate this unique webpage that honors the undeniable greatness of the Hypnotoad. (Before you click the link remember to make sure that you turn up your speaker volume to get the full experience.) All Hail Hypnotoad!

Visit: ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s
A SECRETARY'S RULES FOR WORK
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

[From AndyChaps]

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