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August 5, 2010

MOM'S KITCHEN FLOOR REMEDY IS EMBARRASSING TO DAUGHTER

DEAR ABBY: When I went to visit my mother, I found her lying
on the kitchen floor. I asked her what she was doing there,
and she said the floor feels cold and hard and soothes her
back.

Abby, my mother has two very expensive beds in her home, and
there is no reason for her to lie on the floor. It could be
embarrassing if a friend or neighbor should pop in and find
her there. How do I get her off the floor?
-- NOT BEDRIDDEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR NOT BEDRIDDEN: You should be more concerned with how
things are than how they "might" be perceived by others. If
your mother is having back trouble, encourage her to discuss
it with her doctor or a chiropractor so she can be examined
to make sure nothing is wrong. But if nothing is, then leave
your poor mother alone. She's in the privacy of her own home,
and she is hurting no one.


DEAR ABBY: We have an ongoing discussion in our office. What
color ink is proper for signing birthday cards, sympathy
cards, farewell cards, etc?

One co-worker continues to use colors other than blue or
black. An older co-worker says it's inappropriate to use any
other colors. I have searched for an answer to this question
with no luck. Can you help?
-- SEEING RED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR SEEING RED: You seem to have a lot of time on your hands
in that office. What is being conveyed is more important than
how it looks. To sign a sympathy card in bright red might be
inappropriate because it is jarring. For cards celebrating
happy occasions, colored ink is acceptable -- the exception
being fluorescent ink because it is hard to read.


DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle are "large" people. In the past
we have had to be extremely cautious about where they sit
when they come visit. Our furniture is mostly hand-me-downs
and not overly sturdy.

They have, on occasion, broken the furniture because of their
weight. We have had to have our kitchen chairs reglued, and
once a chair was destroyed beyond repair. They have never
ever offered to make amends for the furniture they have dam-
aged.

We are about to order a new dining room set and living room
furniture. Naturally, we don't want these broken. My husband
has suggested giving them only sturdy folding chairs to sit
on, but I don't want to embarrass them or make them feel un-
welcome.

Is there a way to protect our furniture without hurting or
offending my aunt and uncle? We don't have the money to
constantly replace broken items.
-- STRICTLY ANONYMOUS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR STRICTLY ANONYMOUS: To drag out folding chairs for your
aunt and uncle to use would be glaringly obvious. Consider
buying a couple of sturdy chairs (and possibly have them
reinforced with metal bracing) for them. When you know
they're coming, "guide" them toward the chairs you want them
to use. If you are questioned about it, explain (kindly) that
in the past your chairs have been broken or needed repair --
so these were bought with them in mind because they are
sturdier and you want them to be comfortable.

If they take offense, then please realize that the problem
is theirs. To prepare for guests with "special needs" is an
example of good hospitality, not rudeness.



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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.