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May 11, 2010

MIX-AND-MATCH SIBLINGS ECHO THEIR FAMILY'S RICH HERITAGE

DEAR ABBY: "No Laughing Matter" (Feb. 22) wrote about her
mother-in-law making snide comments because there is so
little resemblance between her son and her grandchild. It's
a fact that not all offspring look like their parents.

My husband and I have seven biological children who are now
young adults. We marvel at the breadth and depth of our
collective gene pool.

I am a petite brown-eyed brunette, and my husband is tall
and blond with hazel eyes. None of our kids look alike. One
daughter inherited my brown eyes, but her hair is blond. Two
kids have my dark hair, but one has blue eyes and the other
has green eyes. One son is the spitting image of his dad,
while another resembles my father as a child. Our "baby" girl
is the tallest female and has a buxom figure she certainly
did not inherit from me.

Another thing: Out of all nine of us, our second child is
the only family member who cannot curl her tongue. The study
of genetics is an amazing thing, especially when we find out
what we think we know isn't necessarily so.
-- THEY'RE ALL OURS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ALL: Thank you for your in"gene"ious response. Other
readers felt "No Laughing Matter" should ignore her mother-
in-law's comments and handle the matter with humor. Read on:

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DEAR ABBY: When my daughter was about 13, my "dear" mother-
in-law said she didn't look like her son, also implying that
I had been unfaithful. I looked her directly in the eye and
replied, "Of course she doesn't look like your son. She
resembles MY side of the family." She never commented again.
-- NOT UNFAITHFUL IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: The next time "No Laughing Matter's" mother-in-law
remarks how one child bears no resemblance to Dad, she should
say, "You know, genetics are fascinating. I've often thought
how much this beautiful child resembles you."
-- MARC IN CLEVELAND HEIGHTS

DEAR ABBY: My oldest brother and I look identical despite our
10-year age difference. Our middle brother, however, didn't
look like either one of us. Our family jokingly referred
to him as "the milkman's son" until he hit middle age. At
that point in his life, he became the spitting image of our
father. "No Laughing Matter" should not take her mother-in-
law seriously.
-- KATHY IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: I bet if that mother-in-law looked through an old
photo album she might notice that this grandchild has
Grandpa's nose and eyes, and maybe Great-Uncle Charley's
ears. My wife and I have five children. Three of them closely
resemble us. The other two don't look like they belong to us
-- until you look at my wife's maternal cousins. Our daughter
and one of her cousins could pass as twins.
-- LEROY IN POULSBO, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: My mother was widowed at 35 with three young
children. A few years later, "Pop" came into our lives and
married "us." He always treated us like we were his biolog-
ical kids and we knew we were loved. Pop was a mailman in
our small town and my brother used to tag along with him on
his route. Many people would comment that they "knew"
immediately that this was his son, "He looks just like you!"

"No Laughing Matter" needs to move on. Life is too short to
feel bad about thoughtless people and their silly comments.
-- JACK'S DAUGHTER IN UPSTATE NEW YORK



To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most
frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-
sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for
$6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box
447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the
price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.