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Cell Phone Charging Shelf Stand
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March 9, 2010
MAN HAS WIFE'S OK TO LOOK, BUT NOT TOUCH, OTHER WOMEN
DEAR ABBY: Regarding your answer to "Yoo-Hoo, I'm Over Here!"
(Jan. 10), who was bothered by her husband's constant leering
at women, you've got to be kidding. Men have been looking at
young women since the beginning of time. My husband and his
friends hold "office hours" every morning at our neighborhood
coffeehouse. I've told him as long as he "touches" only with
his eyes, there won't be a problem.
My husband and his pals are not "creepy old men." They are
leaders in our community -- doing what they can to make the
world a better place, while enjoying the scenery. There must
be something terribly wrong with "Yoo-Hoo's" marriage if
she's contemplating divorce because of this.
-- KEEPING IT REAL IN TAMPA
DEAR KEEPING IT REAL: I told "Yoo-Hoo" that from her descrip-
tion, her husband's behavior seemed obsessive, that it showed
a lack of sensitivity to her feelings and I recommended mar-
riage counseling. Responses from my readers were varied.
Read on:
DEAR ABBY: In marriage we promise to love and cherish our
wives. That is not what "Yoo-Hoo's" husband is doing. It is
disrespectful to her, his supposed one and only, and to the
women he is ogling. When a man stares at another woman, it
is not just looking. He is fantasizing about her. And some-
times it doesn't stop there.
-- TOM IN HALF MOON BAY, CALIF.
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DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married for 18 years, we have
four children, and I can attest that all men do NOT do that.
My husband isn't blind to a beautiful woman, but he is re-
spectful of my feelings and has enough self-respect to not
openly drool over any women in my presence.
Unfortunately, we do know "Yoo-Hoo's" husband's type. We
have seen "men" like him gawking open-mouthed at the teenage
girls wearing tight jeans at school. We have also made care-
ful note of who they are and who their children are. If an
invitation comes for one of our girls to visit their kids at
their house, the answer is always NO.
"Yoo-Hoo's" husband has a problem. The sooner she realizes
it, the better.
-- WATCHFUL MOM IN BUTLER, PA.
DEAR ABBY: You said that if "Yoo-Hoo's" husband were 20 years
younger, his behavior would be chalked up to "boys will be
boys." Boys of all ages can be respectful of women -- the
ones they're dating or are married to, and the ones who do
not want to be ogled by strangers. Appreciating attractive
people without being creepy is something people of all ages
and both genders are capable of. Please don't perpetuate
this stereotype.
-- BROOKE IN HILLIARD, OHIO
DEAR ABBY: The way she describes her husband's behavior with
women sounds like he may have a sexual addiction. If so, he
is powerless over his behavior and will do anything to just-
ify his addiction. It's a waste of time asking him to change
unless he goes into recovery for it. Other signs of this
addiction are affairs, frequenting bars, using Internet chat
rooms and looking at porn.
-- KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE
DEAR ABBY: I wonder how that man would feel if he caught
someone his age leering at HIS daughter? Maybe then he would
think twice about what he is doing.
-- DIVORCED IN KANSAS CITY
DEAR ABBY: Women look, too. I look! I think it's healthy to
be aware of the people around you. But that doesn't mean we
have to be obvious about it -- certainly not so obvious that
we are inconsiderate of the people we are with.
That said, the other side of the coin is: Did he act like
this when they were dating? Did she know what she was getting
when she married him? As they say, a leopard doesn't change
its spots.
-- IRENE IN SAN ANTONIO
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist
and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send
a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or
money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.