Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I went to my dentist yesterday and while he had both hands
in my mouth up to his wrists he was telling me about how he
drives ninety minutes, one way, every weekend to cut his
brother-in-law's acre-sized lawn while he is out of town for
an extended period.

"Ow wong ab ou een a endist?" I asked with the sucky tube in
my mouth.

"Oh, going on twenty-five years, now."

"An you shill cud your bruffer-in-wa's wawn?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't mind. It makes my wife happy that we can help
him out."

"Oc," I pointed out, "at's ut Gog reated exicans or."

Helpfully,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it;
if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh
at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved."
--Russell Lynes



When I asked her to the prom, she just looked at me, giggled
and smiled.

When I asked her to dance, she just looked at me, giggled and
smiled.

When I asked her to kiss me, she just looked at me, giggled
and smiled.

When I asked her to make love to me, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked her to move in with me, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked for her hand in marriage, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked her to bear my children, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

That's when I realized, she was a retard.



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A blonde is on board a small two- seater plane when suddenly
the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the
radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams.
Ground control receives her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First, I need you to give me your height and position."

"I'm 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!"


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I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help!
Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying
to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was putting up a
hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.

I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and
pretend I didn't see anything.

I finally decided that I should help.

She was a tough old bird, but the three of us finally got
that handbag.


Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com