Sunday, December 14, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

You've been slacking on your Christmas shopping haven't you? Hey! It's not a criticism. In fact, I'm here to help you.

You can still order right now from www.PulseTV.com and get your purchases delivered before Christmas using Standard US Postal shipping.

Hundreds of great gift ideas and all of them at better prices than you are going to get at the retail stores. But tomorrow morning (10 a.m) is the deadline for regular shipping. You can order after that but you have to upgrade to FedEx in order to guarantee it before Christmas.

* Last Chance for Regular Shipping Before Christmas *
Go to www.PulseTV.com to check out some of our best sellers!

At the last minute,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



I gave my girlfriend a new perfume called Chloroform. She doesn't like it. She says she gets real sleepy and that it makes her ass sore!



Someone asked me, "Now that you're retired, do you still have a job?"

I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser."

Somewhat confused, they said, "What do you mean by that?"

"Very simple," I said, "The wife told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."



We were both suffering from depression for a while, so me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better.



Sometime during the life of nearly every man there will come a time when the discussion comes around guts and balls. We've all heard at one time or another that some guy has "balls" or "guts". While some may view those terms as one-in-the-same, there is a very clear medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls". But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed should the subject surface in the future, here are the definitions:

GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the GUTS to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the BALLS to say, "You're next, Chubby!"

I hope this clears up any confusion regarding the definitions. Medically, speaking there is no difference in the outcome.