Monday, December 26, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It was Sunday night and the kids were asleep. My wife and I were recovering from the long weekend. Finally finding ourselves alone for the first time in several days I raised an eyebrow and said, "How about a nice romantic evening in bed with yours truly? I'll take you to heights rarely reached by mere mortals. You'll experience joys you've only read about. Your body will become so highly tuned that you will channel some ancient goddess of love."

Her eyes twinkled as she said, "That's hard for a girl to resist."

So I grabbed her hand and led her away to the promised land. As we were walking I said, "You know, it wouldn't kill you to occasionally initiate these proceedings."

"And how would you have me do that?" she asked.

"Simple," I said. "Just grab my hand and say, 'I want dick.'"

Subtly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the other hand, men spend half their income on the wives when the wife finds out about the mistress. So it all balances out." -Jay Leno



A married couple in New York's "Little Italy" went to their priest to discuss birth control, since they already had five children. The husband inquired if perhaps oral sex would be an acceptable substitute in the eyes of the Church.

The Priest explained that it was still considered a perverted act and a sin; totally banned according to their faith.

The wife spoke up fuming, "Look Padre, you no play-a da game, you no make-a da rules."



I love CHRISTMAS LIGHTS,
They remind me of some co-workers.
They all hang together, half of the fuckers don't work,
and the ones that do aren't that bright.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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On our way to the ski hill, my friend's children decided to "find me a man" by the end of the day.

The kids did their best to let it be known I was unmarried and to introduce me to anyone who was skiing alone and therefore, in their minds, single.

To my great relief they finally got bored with their mission and charged off on their own. I then made my way to the chair lift. As I moved near the front of the line, a gentleman close to my age said "Excuse me, but are you single?"

Groaning inwardly, I said, "Yes, but despite what you may have heard, I'm really not looking to get married."

He looked at me oddly. "All I want is someone to share the chair lift with."