Monday, January 25, 2010

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I'm starting to get pissed off because my wife ain't puttin'
out lately. It's not that she doesn't find me completely
irresistible, because she does. I mean it's almost unnatural
the way she feels about me. But say I'm in the mood for some
hip grinding, ass slapping, loud screaming, porky pigging and
she isn't--then I get shut down and isolated quicker than the
Gaza Strip.

Why just last night I was feeling amorous and made the advances
that a husband has the right to make and she protested loudly.

"Stop that, TZ!" she actually hissed.

"What?" I was incredulous. "I need it now and our deal when we
first got married was that neither of us would withhold sex
from the other, ever. When either one of us felt the need we
agreed to simply take it. Now, after 16 years you have broken
our covenant. For shame! I now consider myself free to fulfill
my carnal desires elsewhere. You, my wife, are on notice."

"Ha!" she laughed. "How many times have I tried to cash in on =

that vow only to have you unable to 'raise the mast' and take
care of me? But right now I say no because we're on the couch
and the kids are at the table doing their homework. But I
challenge you to a bout tonight when they're asleep."

"Forget it," I said. "By then I won't be in the mood."

"As usual: all talk and no action."

I-want-it-when-I-want-itly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"A new $65 tour called the 'L.A. Gang Tour' is being offered
in Los Angeles that takes tourists through L.A.'s most
dangerous neighborhoods. The gang tour is also known by its
other name, 'A cab ride from the airport.'" -Conan O'Brien



Being married or single is a choice we all have to make.

It's not a great choice....it's sort of like when the
the doctor says "Ointment or suppositories?"



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"Marriage Definitions"

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of
her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife
whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look
fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that
his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until
she doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized
he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits
the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace
of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,
and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble
you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first
place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having any-
thing to wear at the very same time that she complains about
not having enough room in the closet.



Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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