Sunday, February 1, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Fucking teenagers. You have GOT to watch what you say around them. Last week I let slip that it might be, MIGHT BE! fun to host a Super Bowl party.

Back in the day my sporting event parties were legendary. Super Bowl, boxing, World Series, people would look forward to these events all year because of my parties. I guess I was more or less reminiscing when I made that idle comment to my wife. I should have made sure my teenage daughter was not in the room, because she sent a text message to the entire family that I was hosting a Super Bowl party.

I have been getting confirmations all week that people are coming.

So...I guess we're having a party. All I have to do now is get my wife to make a 5-lb roast beef, 6 dozen chicken wings, a pasta salad, a bean salad, a taco salad, a vegetable tray, 2 or 3 of her delicious specialty dips that she is so famous for and maybe a pot of chili.

Or I could just order a half dozen pizzas and charge ten dollars at the door.

Opportunistically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!



Dear Dr Phil,

I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me.

Is she a pervert?



As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, "After this, you can't have sex for at least three days."

"Did you hear that?" she asked her husband. "No sex for three days."

"I heard," he said. "But she was speaking to you."



I just got off the phone with a friend living in Northern Wisconsin.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.

The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.

His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.