Thursday, September 4, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Well, that's it. The summer is just about over. And it's going to end with a whimper, not with a bang. IF I'm very motivated I may barbecue...but I have a golf date with Lewis, and with the way he likes to take detours through every single stand of trees and bushes on the course it will probably turn into a pretty long day, so I will likely let the wife commit her usual atrocity in the kitchen (I kid, Honey, I kid).

At least it will be a beautiful weekend for golf. We are looking at low 70s and sunny all weekend. You can't ask for much better than that while stomping around the fairways for four hours.

Duffingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Los Angeles is considering a new plan to boost the city's minimum wage to $13.25 an hour. It's getting huge support across the entire country -- of Mexico." -Jimmy Fallon



A husband and wife were sitting watching TV. He turned to his wife and said... "Here's a riddle for you, Honey. Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad, all at the same time?"

She said, "You have the Biggest Dick of all your Friends."



"The drug store CVS announced that the corporation is no longer selling cigarettes. The CEO estimates the company will lose about $2 billion this year. Competitors of CVS, like Walgreens and Rite-Aid, have no plans to follow suit. As much as they understand the consequences of smoking they also understand the wonderful consequences of making $2 billion a year." -Jimmy Kimmel



The History of the Middle Finger.

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

[I don't believe a word of this, but it's still a fun read.]