Subscribe to LAFF A DAY
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 




Monday, February 4, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I saw our customer service manager, who is what you might call amply endowed (she has giant, jiggly hooters), walking back to her desk from the kitchen with a plate in each hand and a cup balanced precariously between her boobs.

"Wow," I commented, "having big boobs is just like having a third hand."

She looked at me, then down at her boobs when the light of understanding finally dawned on her face.

"Oh, yeah," she agreed. "At least they're good for something, but wouldn't it be more like having four hands?"

"Four? No. Not unless you can hold something with one boob. But if your boobs do have to ability to grip something independently you are going to go down in the Guinness Book Of World Records. And you're going to get a raise."

Appreciatively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



One time, I had to tell a candidate that we would not be able to offer him a job because his drug test had come back positive and ours was a drug-free environment. After a minute he asked, "Can you tell me which one showed up?"



A man says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for something kinky tonight, how about I blow my load in your ear?"

The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!"

To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"



"This week in New Zealand, a man who lost his wedding ring in the ocean found it in the water over a year later. The man says the most amazing thing about the story is that his wife fell for it." -Conan O'Brien



"Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea," a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he's screwed is our maid."

"Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a kid," the medic soothed. "Get him in here right away and I'll take care of him."

"But, Doc. I've been screwing the maid too and I've got the same symptoms he has."

"Then you come in with him and I'll fix you both up." Replied the doctor.

"Well," the man admitted, "The problem is now I think I gave it to my wife."

"Son of a bitch!" the physician roared. "That means we've all got it!"