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Thursday, June 12, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

As I was reading the quotes in today's issue about success and leadership it occurred to me that I don't have any of the qualities they are discussing (while you may not think back-stabbing is a prerequisite quality for success and leadership, a certain element of psychopathy is frequent among the very successful).

When you are blessed with charm, charisma, a razor-sharp wit, twinkling eyes, a dazzling smile, a body like a Greek Adenoids and circus-sized genitals; like me, will power and discipline kind of become superfluous.



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The best leaders are also good followers. The ability to follow places one in the perfect position to do some timely back-stabbing.

A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor.

The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground from which to begin his analysis said, "Tell me about anything the two of you have in common."

The husband spoke up and said, "Well, neither one of us sucks dicks."

"The one human quality that must be developed is self discipline for success. The will power to force yourself to do what you know you should do when you should do it, whether you like it or not, whether you feel like it or not. Success is tons of discipline." -Brian Tracy

A monk who's been sheltered all of his life in a monastery has to travel to the big city to meet his friend, a Catholic nun.

On the streets of the city, he encounters a prostitute who says: "Blowjob? Five dollars?"

"No, thank you!" the monk says, blushing.

He moves on to the next street corner and another hooker asks him, "Blowjob? Five dollars?"

He hurriedly rushes down the streets but on each corner there's a woman asking if he wants a blowjob. By the time he reaches the convent, he's very upset.

He asks his friend the nun, "Sister, what's a "blowjob?"

She says, "Five dollars."

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