Thursday, May 20, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I walked in to our house to find my wife and children all
standing at the front door talking to a middle-aged woman.
"Hello, all," I announced.
My kids ran to me and told me the lady was from 'Sesame
something'.
"The census bureau?" I asked.
"Yeah! How did you know?" they shouted excitedly.
"I know EVERYTHING!" I said, not divulging that I had read
about the door to door visits in the paper.
So we all walked up to the lady, and I told her that these
children were from Cuba and that she should take them away.
"Maybe they can get jobs picking sugar cane?" I asked.
My kids laughed, the lady just looked at me and my wife
hit me.
"Um, for 'race'" I continued, "you can put us down as
'Black Irish'."
My kids laughed, the census taker didn't, my wife hit me.
"OK," I said, "strike two and I'm out. I'm gonna go take
a dump."
My kids laughed, the census taker laughed, my wife hit me.
Compliantly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Gov. Rick Perry of Texas shot a coyote while he was jogging.
I like the idea of runners carrying guns. Think of how
interesting the Boston Marathon will be." -Jimmy Kimmel
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a
posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they in-
dulge in partner-swapping as a trial.
After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned
to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex
I had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"
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"Disney is partnering with a South Korean company to launch
a Korean-language Disney channel. Mickey will still be known
as 'Mickey,' and Minnie will still be known as 'Minnie.'
However, Pluto will now be known as 'Delicious.'"
-Jimmy Fallon
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This efficient growing system yields up to 30 lbs of tomatoes
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Three disabled men, a blind man, an amputee, and a man in
a wheelchair, are flying back with the USA team from the
Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes
in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled men, the only
survivors, are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue
them, but no one shows.
They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out
water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing
the man in the wheelchair;. Eventually they find an oasis.
The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself
down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and
lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and en-
courages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but
he is refused. The man in the chair is skeptical and insists
the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water,
cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the
other side and lo and behold, he can SEE!
Now the man in the wheelchair is getting really excited and
starts pushing with all his might. He goes into the water,
cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out
the other side. Lo and behold ... NEW TIRES!
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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