Thursday, December 23, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The weather has been keeping me and mine indoors lately,
and I gotta tell you, it blows. My kids are out of control
and my wife is a nervous wreck. Why can't life be like it
is in the movies? And by 'the movies' I mean a good and
raunchy porn.
In my mind's eye the holidays would find the kids eagerly
planning a surprise for mom and dad downstairs, while mom
and dad are upstairs in a 69. Things would take their
natural course with whips, chains, masks, candle wax and
plenty of lube, and we would finish with a pretty sloppy
ending involving my wife's chest, face, hair and a picture
of her aunt in a sun dress.
But, NOOOOOOOO! None of that for ol' TZ. I guess I'll just
continue to live my Mittyesque existence and hope my kids
don't put me in an old folks home before I'm 60.
Ho ho holy,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A survey found that men spend twice as much on their
mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the
other hand, men spend half their income on their wives once
they find out about their mistresses." -Jay Leno
As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient,
I warned her, "After this, you can't have sex for at least
three days."
"Did you hear that?" she asked her husband. "No sex for
three days."
"I heard," he said. "But she was speaking to you."
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"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain
travelers as they go through security. It's not helping
that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving,
Touching, Squeezing.'" -Conan O'Brien
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the
merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need
to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of
having my asshole bleached!"
To which the first replies, "Whoa, I just can't picture
your husband as a blonde!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com