Thursday, September 16, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I getting dressed when my wife walked in and looked at me
seductively.
"I had a very naughty dream last night," she said giving me
a kiss.
"Yeah? How was I?"
"Who said it was you?"
"Who was it then?"
"I think he was faceless."
"If he was someone from your past I'm sure he was dickless,
too."
"No, no. He DEFINITELY had a dick."
What-the-fuckly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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When I see an emo kid, I like to tickle them until they are
laughing and smiling, then hug them close and whisper: 'No
one will ever love you.'
A cowboy went to the city for a little rest and relaxation.
But he didn't succeed in coping well with the complexities
of city life. At midnight, he was alone in his hotel room,
jerking off.
Suddenly the door was opened by a bellhop carrying a drink
intended for the room next door. "Pardon me, sir," said the
flustered bellhop, "but where would you like me to sit your
drink?"
"I didn't order no drink," retorted the cowboy, thinking
fast. "Can't you see I'm already so drunk that I'm taking
advantage of myself?"
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I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need
to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start
a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the
lighter?
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Maury and Pauly were in the barn, and Pauly was relating his
quandry:
"I don't know what decision I should make. I'm currently
being pursued by a 23-year-old aspiring model who hasn't
got a dime to her name and also by a 69-year-old widow with
bazillions of dollars."
"Hmmm," said Maury. "In your place, I wouldn't hesitate a
second. With your age and looks, it's obvious that you're
never again in your lifetime going to get the attention of
a 23-year-old, even if she is broke and only an aspiring
model. What counts is youth and beauty. In your place, I'd
send the old bat off and then set up housekeeping with the
beauty."
"You're right!" says Pauly. "It's just amazing how friends
can see the situation so clearly and offer such good advice."
"No problem," says Maury, "but could you give me that widow's
name and number?"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com