Sunday, September 25, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I read recently that a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep.

Which is worse...

Having your girlfriend find out you're married...

Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis...

Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring?

Can't-win-for-losing,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn't leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old 'It's not you, I'm dead' approach." -Seth Meyers



Points to Ponder:

- We love to shop for new clothes, but we don't realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

- Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks is priceless.

- Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by his girlfriend's husband.

- Arguing over a woman's breast size is like choosing between Spaten, Heineken, Carlsberg or Budweiser. Men may claim preferences, but they'll grab whatever's handy.




"A new study came out and it claims that women would be better off going to bed two hours before men. The study was paid for by guys who want to watch porn." -Conan O'Brien



In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone went below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction "Stow High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T", (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.