Thursday, December 10, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It just so happens that Clean Laffs Joe and I got onto the same kick recently of eating a cup of instant oatmeal every day for lunch.

Just the other day I ran into him in the kitchen as he was pouring boiling water into his oatmeal cup. As usual he was doing it wrong.

"Joe, you see that little line on the inside of the cup? That is where you're supposed to fill it up to. You're adding too much water."

"You might like your oatmeal with the consistency of wet concrete," he replied, "but I like my oatmeal like I like my women..."

"Thick and lumpy?" I interjected.

"No, wet and gooey" he said, pausing to look at the label on the cup, "and stuffed with pecans and raisins."

Riposte-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick.

For what it's worth, it reaches all the way to the back of her sister's throat!"



"The White House pastry chef made a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread White House. Obama was like, 'Uh, but you made a REGULAR gingerbread house for all the OTHER presidents.'" -Jimmy Fallon



Sometime during the life of nearly every man there will come a time when the discussion comes around guts and balls. We've all heard at one time or another that some guy has "balls" or "guts". While some may view those terms as one-in-the-same, there is a very clear medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls". But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed should the subject surface in the future, here are the definitions:

GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the GUTS to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the BALLS to say, "You're next, Chubby!"

I hope this clears up any confusion regarding the definitions. Medically, speaking there is no difference in the outcome.