Monday, March 12, 2012Greetings Laff Lovers,
"Honey, do you think you can store the snow blower in your folks garage?" My wife asked. "I don't think it's going to snow again this year."
I looked around our garage: 5 bikes (two of them hanging out of the way), the snow blower and a rolling tool cabinet.
"You are becoming obsessive compulsive," I said. "Leave the garage alone. You don't need to clean it every few weeks. It's clean and empty."
"I know, but..."
"No 'buts'. You're always tired--snoring on the sofa by 9. I want you to stop cleaning because I need you awake at least a couple nights a week. My balls are a permanent shade of blue."
"The kids track all the dirt from the garage into the house..."
"Listen carefully, Honey. If you need to clean something then clean something that needs cleaning. And right now the things that need cleaning the most are my pipes."
Spotlessly,
TZ
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'Like' Deal of the Day Here"Scientists have said they may have figured out a way to travel through time. For years now I've known of a potion that can let you travel through time..it's called tequila." -Craig Ferguson
One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about about him?"
"I've done it once and I'm really ashamed of it. It was Christmas - I'd had a couple of drinks and I took the car out. But I learned my lesson. I nearly killed an old lady. In the end I didn't kill her. In the end, I just raped her." -Ricky Gervais
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***It's Available.
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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZIn a train compartment, there are three men and one ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in a conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $5, I'll show you my thighs." Men being what they are, they all pull out a five-dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her panties.
Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $20, I will show you where I was operated on for an appendicitis."
Naturally, all three fork over the money, and then the girl turns to the window and points to a hospital in the distance and says, "Right over there!"