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Monday, February 8, 2010

Greetings Laff Lovers,

My wife was out with our oldest daughter and the other two
kids were in their pajamas.

"You two stay here, I'll be back in a half an hour. I want
to go to Home Depot."

The older girl was incredulous. "You want us to stay all by
ourselves? Isn't that, like, illegal?"

"You're 11!" I said. "By the time I was 11 I was working in
the slaughter house pulling the guts out of the cows, sheep
and chickens that were headed for the rich people's tables.
Of course, we were so poor I had to give all my money to
support..."

"No you weren't!" she cut me off, "Grandma told us you had
plenty..."

"Shutup, kid. If it wasn't for the hole in my pocket I
wouldn't have had anything to play with. I always wanted
one of those official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred
shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock..."

"No you didn't! That was Ralphie!"

"Oh, well, I'm going," I said. "Don't answer the door if an
escaped mental patient knocks on the door. Tell him I'm
taking a dump and he'll have to wait until I'm finished."

Confusedly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"Here is something pretty unbelievable. The only living
World War I veteran, a man named Frank Buckles just turned
109 years old. What's even more amazing, he just finished
his fourth tour in Afghanistan." -Jay Leno



A new couple were making love in the dunes. When they were
done he said, "How lucky for us that you brought a condom
with you."

She said, "We're even luckier than you think because I found
it here in the sand."



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"A new study found that eating corned beef for breakfast
could help you lose weight. That doesn't sound like a study,
that sounds like something a guy who eats corned beef for
breakfast says." -Jimmy Fallon



The Cozy-Cuddler: Blanket With The Sleeves
Like The Snuggie But Less
Than 1/2 The Price...

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As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards
with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden
of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off
the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the
road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw
an attractive woman sitting at a desk.

"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.

"It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is a nudist
camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."

"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his member-
ship fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked
along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays."
A little further along he saw another sign which read the
same thing: "Beware of Gays."

He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which
had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read
the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"



Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com

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