Monday, December 17, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I have learned a lot about women in 20 years of blissful marriage. I have learned that whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges all that is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

Love and appreciate all the women in your life.

Appreciatively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Anyone see that Hurricane Sandy concert? Kanye West performed while wearing a leather skirt. So now they're having a benefit concert for people who had to see that." -Conan O'Brien



A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: "You got male!"



"Farmers in France have started giving their cows two bottles of wine every day, in order to make better beef. Unfortunately, all the cows wind up doing is texting their ex-milkers." -Jimmy Fallon



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It was the first day of a new school year.

Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy, "Why are you tardy," the boy replies "I've been on Blueberry Hill."

The teacher didn't know what to make of that so she just said, "Take your seat."

Then another boy walks in and she asks him why he is late. "I was on Blueberry Hill." he also replied.

Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer.

As the boys we're sitting down a girl arrives in. "Let me guess," said the teacher. "You where on Bluberry Hill also?"

"NO..." replied the girl. "I am Blueberry Hill."