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Monday, August 4, 2014Greetings Laff Lovers,
You barbarians. Last week I gave you a quote from John Boorman's 1974 classic "Zardoz" starring James Bond and a bunch of other people you don't know, and somebody actually wrote to me with;
"Sounds like this Zardoz chick is a pissed off about a recent divorcee." Fucking heathens.
Disappointedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
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GopherArchivesLove means never having to ask, "Does that fifty include a spanking?"
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass, Millie, Nelda, Elma, Lacey, Sippy and Rosie.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator. 'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'
'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, and they're having a yard sale.
"According to a dating app, Amazon employees are more desirable than employees at other tech companies. Plus, if you sleep with one, they will recommend someone else you might also like." -Conan O'Brien
An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years.
He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "You see that thing, woman?" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we ought to do with it?"
With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it."